Hometown Glory

July 16, 2015

Chattanooga will never be the same. 

{Pause} 

Let's go back to September 11, 2001....

I vividly remember sitting in Mrs. Johnson's reading class. Her facial expression and words are forever engraved in my memory. 

"Our country is in great danger. Two planes just hit the World Trade Center." 

To this day, I still have NO idea why she said this to a classroom of eight year olds. Anyone that knows me well can tell you I worry about everything. I worry about everything to the point I actually have anxiety issues that I've struggled with my entire life. Case in point, I was a nervous wreck that entire day. Whenever I got home from school, my mom and I immediately turned on the news. Within ten minutes the constant replay of the planes hitting the twin towers, people jumping from buildings,  the crash sight of Flight 93, and footage of the Pentagon became too much. Taylor Raye had a melt down.  For about a month after the tragic events of 9/11 my parents couldn't turn on the news around me. One time they didn't realize I was walking into the living room. Sure enough, Osama Bin Laden's face was on NBC Nightly News. I started shaking and couldn't move. I literally thought Osama Bin Laden was coming to 150 Hillvale Lane in Loudon, Tennessee to hurt my family. My parents had to constantly remind me that we were safe. This could never happen in our town.

Now let's go back to July 16, 2015....

Fourteen years later, I'm sitting at my desk logging shipment files (I've come a long way since Mrs. Johnson's reading class ;) ). I noticed a message from Holden in our GroupMe about a shooting in Chattanooga. Messages from our other friends followed soon afterward. At this point, I knew I needed to stop what I was doing to see what's going on in my hometown. I started to receive messages from my parents. They kept me updated until I took lunch and could watch the news in the break room. Before I could get to the news I thought this was some little shooting that would maybe reach state news. Wrong. It's national news and a terrorist attack.

But this is Chattanooga? Where nothing bad is supposed to happen? This is a nightmare. 

About an hour after lunch, I went into the break room to grab some water. I looked at the television...

Mohammad Youssef Abdulazeez

That moment is still a blur. I could not believe what I was actually seeing. Mohammad Abdulazeez went to my high school. I remember him as nothing but a friendly person. People that went to Red Bank weren't supposed to be terrorist. His little sister was one of my best friends in school. She always spoke so highly of her brother and how she looked up to him. How was this even possible? 
Real talk, I had to leave work 30 minutes early. My mind was so many other places that didn't involve import operations. 

About an hour later, the girl I remembered as nothing but sweet and always knew how to make me laugh was in handcuffs on CNN News. 

This HAS to be a nightmare. Why is this happening?!

My heart was broken. It broke for the families and friends of the fallen marines and sailor. It broke for the Abdulazeez family.

It broke for the Chattanooga and Red Bank community. 

July 16, 2015 taught me that no place in our country is safe. A terrorist attack can happen anywhere. It doesn't have to be New York or Boston. I know our armed forces will do everything in their power to protect the homeland. It has been said that the fallen marines fought to their death. They gave their all for their country. For their service, America is a stronger nation. I owe you my deepest gratitude.

As for Chattanooga, I am so proud to say that this is my home. All the pictures and videos posted on social media in the past two weeks has proved we are an amazing community. It's beautiful how tragic events can bring people together. What Mohammad and any others involved did was morally wrong and they will pay the price. His name might have raised terrorist threats, but he's made us #chattanoogastrong.

#postgrad

For some it may be hard to believe (if we're being serious sometimes it's hard for me to believe), but as of May 7, 2015 I'm a college grad! At this time I would like to give a special shout out to Einstein's bagels, Starbucks, Snazzy Hazzy, John Hodges, my business frenemies, wine night, and my parents for making this dream possible! I mainly remember graduation day as sentimental and anxious. It really was the perfect day...

The mysterious hole of "Post Grad" life held over my head as soon as I woke up the next morning. My life as I knew it was about to change forever. I knew at this point I was in complete control of my life and could make it anything I went. 

The first month following graduation consisted of accepting a job offer, buying a car, turning 22, signing my first apartment lease, and getting ready to move to a big city! If we're being honest, I probably had at least two breakdowns a week. I was still am so scared of the transition of "college girl" to "big girl." 

On July 5th, I moved to the big city of Nashville, Tennessee. I remember leaving my parents' house thinking how could I ever be this lucky? My entire senior year I had expressed how I wanted to move to a big city with a job. It was actually happening and I couldn't believe it.  My mom stayed for two days to help me get settled. Once she left it was an immediate "oh sh*t?!" feeling. Like this was really it. This wasn't her helping me move into my college apartment where Scarlett would join me in a few days. Mentally, physically, and financially...I was on my own. 

Now don't get me wrong...I absolutely LOVE my job at V. Alexander. It really is the best feeling in the world to see those four years paid off and I landed a job in my desired field. We've all been the intern who's asking everyone in the office if there's anything we can do to help. Imagine being on the other side. That's a REALLY weird feeling. It's also REALLY nice to be paid what you regularly made in more than two weeks at your internship in six days. I'm financially independent from my parents. Although the thought of that is terrifying, it's the best feeling to know I can be a strong woman with a career who doesn't need a man's salary to support my lifestyle. Even with all the positives, I have daily lingering thoughts of "what the hell am I even doing here?" Will I ever live out my life-long dreams? 

The best piece of advice I've been given since graduation is you should be concerned if you aren't freaking out about your future. In college our biggest concern was time. We were limited to four (or five if you're lucky) years to fulfill our college dreams. As post grads, we have no limit on time. There's no rules. My years are no longer defined by first/second semester, finals weeks, and holiday vacations. To me that's exciting.  I have time to do things I never had time for because I was busy studying or working. These things include getting back into running, reading, BLOGGING!!!, trying new recipes, taking a vacation in October, and Netflix binges. What's even more exciting is to know we have our entire lives to figure out what's beneath the surface. 

I already miss Knoxville and my friends from college. Without a doubt, leaving my life as I knew it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm not ashamed to say that the first week of living in my new apartment I sat in the middle of my living room floor and listened to Taylor Swift's song "Never Grow Up" and bawled my eyes out. Basically every morning when I'm driving to work I listen to "Fight Song" because I need that extra motivation to prove I'm doing just fine.  

Being scared is normal and adjusting to this new stage in my life won't happen overnight. It's time to explore and listen to my heart. It's time to go where I'd never go and make a new world now.