The mysterious hole of "Post Grad" life held over my head as soon as I woke up the next morning. My life as I knew it was about to change forever. I knew at this point I was in complete control of my life and could make it anything I went.
The first month following graduation consisted of accepting a job offer, buying a car, turning 22, signing my first apartment lease, and getting ready to move to a big city! If we're being honest, I probably had at least two breakdowns a week. I was still am so scared of the transition of "college girl" to "big girl."
On July 5th, I moved to the big city of Nashville, Tennessee. I remember leaving my parents' house thinking how could I ever be this lucky? My entire senior year I had expressed how I wanted to move to a big city with a job. It was actually happening and I couldn't believe it. My mom stayed for two days to help me get settled. Once she left it was an immediate "oh sh*t?!" feeling. Like this was really it. This wasn't her helping me move into my college apartment where Scarlett would join me in a few days. Mentally, physically, and financially...I was on my own.
Now don't get me wrong...I absolutely LOVE my job at V. Alexander. It really is the best feeling in the world to see those four years paid off and I landed a job in my desired field. We've all been the intern who's asking everyone in the office if there's anything we can do to help. Imagine being on the other side. That's a REALLY weird feeling. It's also REALLY nice to be paid what you regularly made in more than two weeks at your internship in six days. I'm financially independent from my parents. Although the thought of that is terrifying, it's the best feeling to know I can be a strong woman with a career who doesn't need a man's salary to support my lifestyle. Even with all the positives, I have daily lingering thoughts of "what the hell am I even doing here?" Will I ever live out my life-long dreams?
The best piece of advice I've been given since graduation is you should be concerned if you aren't freaking out about your future. In college our biggest concern was time. We were limited to four (or five if you're lucky) years to fulfill our college dreams. As post grads, we have no limit on time. There's no rules. My years are no longer defined by first/second semester, finals weeks, and holiday vacations. To me that's exciting. I have time to do things I never had time for because I was busy studying or working. These things include getting back into running, reading, BLOGGING!!!, trying new recipes, taking a vacation in October, and Netflix binges. What's even more exciting is to know we have our entire lives to figure out what's beneath the surface.
I already miss Knoxville and my friends from college. Without a doubt, leaving my life as I knew it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm not ashamed to say that the first week of living in my new apartment I sat in the middle of my living room floor and listened to Taylor Swift's song "Never Grow Up" and bawled my eyes out. Basically every morning when I'm driving to work I listen to "Fight Song" because I need that extra motivation to prove I'm doing just fine.
Being scared is normal and adjusting to this new stage in my life won't happen overnight. It's time to explore and listen to my heart. It's time to go where I'd never go and make a new world now.
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